How (not) to interview a band

8.28.2008

For nearly half of my life, I wrote for a variety of different newspapers. I've gotten to meet some cool people, have beers with some of my idols, get tons of free swag, have a cell phone full of musician's numbers, and get nearly any album I wanted well before it was released to the general public. There wasn't much money in the job -- though I was once forced to turn down freelance work that would pay about $1800 per article because I was in Americorps -- but there was plenty of perks to enjoy and ways to inflate my ego.

During that part of my life, I also made many asinine mistakes and said many embarrassing things. So, I hope I can provide some advice from the mistakes I made that may help someone else out there.

Don't pretend you know more than you know.


Perhaps my biggest flaw as a writer was having a fear of appearing unaware. Whenever I needed to actually sit down to write an article or a review, I'd always try to give off the impression that I knew exactly what I was talking about. I'd research the hell out of a band (often after the interview but before I wrote the article) and end up quoting a site like Pitchfork when I could've very well written something more unique (but maybe not as smarmy and elitist) by myself. When it came time to compare the band, I'd pick the most obscure bands or oddest comparisons I could think of because I thought it made me sound smarter. In essence, I was making pointless statements. If the reader didn't know the band, (s)he wouldn't know the obscurer comparisons I was making.

Don't ask about the future.


Musicians are just like the rest of us, lazy and lacking in foresight. They don't know what they're going to do next and they don't really care. If a new album just came out, don't ask what direction they will head in for the next album. When a break comes from their hectic lives of touring, these people probably want to sleep late, watch TV, smoke pot, and live off a shoestring budget. That doesn't make for an interesting story, though. So, they're not going to tell you that.

Don't try to break a big story.


Once, when I interviewed The Get Up Kids, I asked Matthew Pryor about the status of Vagrant Records as an indie rock label. I said they were the biggest of the indie labels (at the time) and that really they were just a major label in disguise. I tried so hard to get him to give me input on the situation that the interview got derailed and he politely said he had to go and apologized for cutting the interview short. Pryor was nothing but nice to me and I was so intent on discussing the hotter topic of Vagrant Records (The Get Up Kids were in decline and close to breaking up) that I never asked much about his band and I struggled to write an article from the minimal material I did have.

Don't harass your interviewee or treat him/her like (s)he is hiding something from you.


One of the best interviews of my writing career had to be when I interviewed Jonah Matranga (Far, Onelinedrawing, New End Original, etc.) He was so awesome and willing to talk to me that we stayed on the phone for two hours. It was one of the first interviews I did for the Daily and I was so happy to hear him ask me to introduce myself to him at his concert. When I did so, he told me to call him next time he came to town and that we'd go out and grab a beer. I was so honored by it that I named my first cat after him (also, my wife wouldn't let me name the cat Special Agent Johnny Utah.)

The reason the interview went so well was because I had a genuine interest in Matranga and what he had to say. We talked like good friends and, as a result, he was willing to open up to me. He told me about his daughter and his divorce.

Over the next few years, I became a much busier writer with more responsibility. I had more to write and less time to do it. So, I whittled down anything I considered to be superfluous from an interview. Included in that list was the human element of conducting an interview. I started interviews during my busiest points politely and asked how the person was doing and how (s)he feeling (not surprisingly, a good number of interviewees were under the weather when they were on the road.) Then, I'd put my head down and plough forward through the interview, focusing only on the facts I predetermined to be important. It was cold, mechanical, and all involved parties disliked it.

This point has some common elements with the previous two but it needs to be reiterated and distinguished. During an interview with Travis Morrison of The Dismemberment Plan, I asked him three different times in three different ways what he would be doing after the band broke up and if he planned on continuing any music projects with the current band members. Plan just started their farewell tour and he didn't want to think about it. The first two times I asked him, he was polite. On the third and final time, he said something to the effect of, "Look man, I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do. We're breaking up. I don't know what's going to happen after that."

Don't be overly critical.


Even though you're writing Features, there's no need for you to interject your personal opinion into everything. I once lived by the philosophy of, "If you're putting your material out there in the public, you better be ready to hear the worst." I should never have done that. I was a total dick to some people and there was no reason for me to do that. I thought it was my job but I lost focus of the fact that these are mostly poor people trying to make music a career and living out of a van most of the year. If anything, musicians are tired, homesick and kind of irritable. Tearing their music apart mercilessly forces them to be callous, and stop reading their reviews. Then, the next time they come to town or release an album, they probably won't be very receptive to the idea of talking to you.

Now, don't get me wrong, you should be honest; just don't rip into people for the sake of ripping into people.

Don't read from a set list of questions.


Once you've made efficiency your primary focus, you might as well stop writing.

At one point, I started writing out my questions before an interview. At the time, it seemed smart since it would prevent me from forgetting anything I wanted to ask. In reality, though, it was counterproductive. When you write down questions, you inadvertently try to walk an interviewee down a path, which is not all that probable. As this plays out, you begin ignoring interesting things that the person says because it's outside of the path you've laid out or you're just waiting to ask the next question. You're no longer having a conversation with this person. There's a clear and unfortunate disconnect.

During two of the first interviews I did when I stepped back from this method, I found out that Strike Anywhere was detained in Japan and had their passports taken from them as they were put under house arrest, and that David Dondero's album title was pure truth: he was transient. By simply caring about what they had to say instead of scripting out everything in advance, I was able to get some interesting stories and have some good conversations.

Don't be a fanboy.


I was never more excited than the day I got to interview Blake Schwarzenbach of Jawbreaker, Jets to Brazil. He was my musical idol and he wrote his lyrics as if he knew me and was writing about my life.

As it turns out, I was interviewing him shortly before Jets to Brazil broke up, though I didn't know it at the time. I professed my love of his music to him and he was apathetic. I told him how I swore by Jawbreaker and he asked when he could finally act curmudgeonly towards Jawbreaker fans, since that band had broken up a long time ago and it was time for people to move on. I said I was happy that he had moved to the East Coast as I might get to see him play more often, even though I was actually living in Colorado at the time. When I did, he mentioned the heroin wasn't as good in New York.

It was gut wrenching and I couldn't guard myself against these responses quickly enough. Instead, I cut the conversation short and the article that I thought would be my opus turned into a very brief and soulless piece.

Have fun and be original while engaging your subject.


I had a lot of fun interviewing James Dewees of Reggie and the Full Effect. I found this quirky side project to be humorous and I thought my interview with him should be equally offbeat. So, I asked him if I'd be able to interview Klaus, a ficitional character from the fictional band The Common Denominators that Dewees created for a few of his songs, including the funny track "Dwarf Invasion."

He was so excited to do this that he broke into character and answered all of the questions in the fake Finnish accent that belonged to Klaus. When the interview was done, he thanked me and said nobody had ever asked him to do anything like that before. I was shocked and elated. I enjoyed doing the interview and writing the article and I think Dewees was happy to be a part of it.

It's common sense to think that you need to find a connection with your subject, but it's easy to lose track of that when writing becomes your job and not your enjoyment. If you stick by these guides, you'll be less likely to lose the joy of writing.

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Im onto you, Jimmy Rollins

8.21.2008

You think you're so coy the way you call Phillies fans frontrunners and then, between commercials of how great the Phillies fans are, you say you try to "clarify" your statements. Then, the hoopla begins about how you've tried to recruit free agents but they wouldn't come here because of our fans. Meanwhile, the fans have no idea whether to cheer or boo you. I'm all boos from here on out, you cocky bastard.

Let's rewind to last fall. You, JRoll, had an amazing season. You helped the Phillies into the playoffs for the first time since I was a year out of grade school. Despite the piss poor playoff performance, this city was in sports bliss. Then, you were named the NL MVP. Congratulations. We were all very happy. I'm sure you were very happy for yourself too. The award and all the recognition that came along with it elevated your status in the baseball world. It must've felt nice to get the spotlight you felt you deserved and, perhaps, the eventual door it would open for you.

People began calling you the best bargain in baseball. In truth, you should be getting paid more. You deserve it. How hard it must've been for you to see Fatty McStrikesouttons be awarded a ten million dollar contract for his one dimensional play.

Howard's suddenly making too much money. Meanwhile, Hamels called his contract offer a slap in the face and Rowand, arguably the most important leader on the team, bolted for the West Coast. What a roller coaster of an off season. To top it off, the Phillies made no significant moves to ensure the team would be any better than the previous season.

Then came the new baseball season. The focus shifted off of you and onto Utley. Barely into the season and people were already predicting he would be the next NL MVP. You were slighted of continued recognition. So, you opened your mouth and said the team would win 100 games. Why not? It puts some attention back on you.

After a hot start, the Phillies cooled by the trade deadline. With so much hype about who would the Phillies would trade for in order to put the team over the top, the deadline came and went and the only real change was an upgrade over the incompetent Adam Eaton to fat Joe Blanton.

I bet that was the final straw for you. That's when you admitted to yourself that you'd fully set your plan in motion, wasn't it? I can't say I blame you for recognizing the front office considers this team to be nothing more than a business and that they won't go the extra mile to win a WS.

So, you started showing up late to the ballpark and not running out the occasional pop out. Manuel got pissed and began benching you. Suddenly, you're on his bad side. Then, with a few appropriately placed comments, you've gone from the respected MVP to the booed shortstop. Now, everyone's wondering how quickly someone like Jason Donald could develop so the Phillies could trade you. With enough boos and some fights with the coach, you are intentionally and consciously writing your ticket out of town.

So, what's the next step, Jimmy? Are you just going to skip a game all together? Or, are you going to disappear in the middle of an inning to poop like Manny Ramirez? Whatever the case is, I look forward to this day that the whole ordeal is over.

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Last Up Up Down Down show ever

8.18.2008

And, like a total asshole, I missed it.





















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Where do we move?

8.17.2008

I need your input. Leave a comment with your advice.

South Jersey

Positives

  • Close to my family for babysitting -- and even a bit closer to Carrie's family
  • New construction is possible
  • Great school districts or great home values
  • Close to train
  • Proximity to Center City
  • Cute downtown areas
  • Proximity to beaches
  • Plenty of parking for friends
  • Lowest gas prices
  • Proximity to free gym and pools
  • Decent restaurants

Negatives

  • Highest cost of living/taxes
  • Distance from friends
  • Evil bridges
  • New Jersey
  • Change over license plates, drivers license, etc.
  • Poor bus system

Philadelphia

Positives

  • Right in the middle of everything
  • Halfway between my family and work
  • MIddle-of-the-road cost of living
  • Rehabbed homes
  • Ability to walk to places
  • It's Philly
  • Tax abatement
  • Best public transit of available options
  • Great restaurants

Negatives

  • Bad school districts
  • No parking
  • City wage tax
  • Stressful
  • Higher crime rates
  • Not an ideal location to raise a family
  • While close to many of my friends, I'm now too boring and old to make it out to see them anyway

Philadelphia Suburbs

Positives

  • Close to work, friends
  • Cheapest cost of living
  • Near friends who have families
  • Decent school system

Negatives

  • Older, expensive homes in need of repair
  • Isolation from city
  • Furthest from family
  • Boring as hell
  • Little boxes on the hillside...
  • Sucky restaurants
  • Inaccessible

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Dear Tyler Perry,

8.13.2008

A few years ago, some of my friends and I started a blog called Celebrity Letters. Recently, one of the original posters revived the blog. I'm jumping back on board too.

Dear Tyler Perry,
Maybe I'm just an ignorant white dude but I have to ask this question: Who are you and where did you come from?

Let's review what I know:
  • You have two first names
  • You're not funny
  • You must inspire countless people to act, as they all think they could do a better job
  • You used to have lots of commercials for your theater productions, then you started making movies, and now you have a TV show too
  • You're from Atlanta
  • As far as I can gather, you have to be pissing Eddie Murphy off. He had the market cornered on playing multiple roles, including big women in cliched flicks.

Now let's review what I learned from Wikipedia:
  • Your career began as a result of an Oprah episode
  • You like to use the words "black" and "woman" a lot
  • You've won a lot of irrelevant awards (on the overall hierarchy of awards)
  • You like using your name as a prefix to your movie and show titles
  • You had a rough childhood, which totally sucks. Sorry.

Allow me to quote your Wikipedia page:
One day while he was watching The Oprah Winfrey Show in 1992, Perry took the advice that it can be cathartic to put feelings down on paper, which inspired him to write letters of his painful childhood. These letters eventually became his plays.


So, yeah, you have a wonderfully motivational story. Unfortunately, this does not qualify you to endlessly plaster your name and face on products with the integrity of Tiger Woods. Instead, your story qualifies you to be a guest on Oprah, sharing your story with tearful eyes. Perhaps you'd be better suited there.

Sincerely,
MD

Up next: John C. Reilly, W.B. Mason Guy

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New site feed

8.07.2008

I added a FeedBurner site feed to this blog. Make me feel loved by subscribing. Link.

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Greyhound: "Our Bad"

8.06.2008

From CBS


"Bus Rage" Ads Scrapped After Beheading
Greyhound has scrapped an ad campaign that extolled the relaxing upside of bus travel after one of its passengers was accused of beheading and cannibalizing another traveler.

The ad's tag line was "There's a reason you've never heard of 'bus rage."'

Greyhound spokeswoman Abby Wambaugh said Wednesday a billboard and some tunnel posters near a bus terminal in Toronto are still up and would be removed later in the day.

"Greyhound knows how important it is to get these removed and we are doing everything possible," Wambaugh said. "This is something that we immediately asked to be done last week, realizing that these could be offensive."

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Fortunes

8.04.2008

I accidentally purchased 12 fortunes cookies for a dollar the other day. It wasn't a bad deal and I've been enjoying them. However, every one I open up seems to be less of a fortune and more of a statement directed at the reader. It seems easy enough to replicate and I wonder if you could make a fortune doing it. Here's my go at it:

You have a pretty smile.
You should consider getting out more often.
Your zipper is down.
You have cancer.
There's a bathroom on your right.
You should think twice about eating this cookie.
You can't really dust for vomit.
You will pay for cheating on your high school girlfriend.
I told you to think twice about eating the cookie.
Do it. Do it.
Oh baby, you... you got what I need.
What you catch in Vegas, doesn't stay in Vegas.
We lied about not using MSG.

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