I'm hoping this catches on because I would certainly like to read this stuff about other people.

1999
I turn from a life of debauchery to three years of community service.
Best Buy won't give me the phone I paid for. I attempt to take one and end up in Shoplifters Anonymous.

2000
Asked to be a leader of the Project Appalachia group and help organize an independent summer trip

2001
I graduate college and teach as a year of Americorps service.
I visit Colorado and fall in love with it.

2002
I turn down a full-time position to teach where I did Americorps because I am guaranteed a job at my alma mater.
I setup a living situation with a friend and a friend-of-a-friend.
My girlfriend of the time hooks up with the friend-of-a-friend while I'm in the hospital. We breakup and I lose my housing situation.
My guaranteed job falls through.
Apparently, I assume I've done enough community service and never do any again.
I rush to record an EP that I clearly should've taken more time to write. Also, I should've assumed the singer I had lined up would bail.
I have a major surgery that puts me out of commission for a month (I get really thin in the process.)
I pay a surprise visit to my mom who is at a cancer clinic in the Bahamas.
I move to Colorado.
I end up living with dirty potheads. We don't get along.
I get a job at a newspaper and compensate for the lack of a decent living wage with free music and concert tickets.
I begin dating my wife.

2003
I need a year to recuperate from 2002.
I have a hard time finding a job and run out of money 1,800 miles from home.
I live off of one small bottle of OJ and breakfast sandwich from 7-11 for months.
I can't take Boulder anymore and decide it's time to move to Denver. Life vastly improves.
Jon moves to Colorado and helps me make friends via the internet for the first time in my life.

2004
My mom dies while I'm sitting in an airport bar. I don't know that I'll ever feel more remorseful, helpless, and isolated in my life.
I sob like a baby the whole flight home. People stare. They point too.
I get engaged.
Carrie graduates from nursing school and we move back to Philly.

2005
I begin working for a mentally unstable distant relative.
We buy our first house.
I quit my job.
We get married.
We go to San Fran and Napa for our honeymoon and both begin eating meat (I only ate chicken and turkey for 11 years. Carrie was a vegetarian.)
As we step off the plane from the honeymoon, I receive a voicemail about a potential job after many months of unemployment.

2006
Brown Bag Club FTW!
We go to the Finger Lakes.
The suburbs start slowly eating away at me.
Meanwhile, I'm eating every piece of food I can find in the suburbs.
I try playing ice hockey and realize I need to get in much better shape to compete. Whoops.
I put together a band with a bunch of friends. Once again, I rush to record an EP, thinking it's just the beginning of things. Once again, I make a wrong assumption.

2007
We go to Italy, Nonna tells me I got fat.
Our house sells.
We move to the city.
Immediately, we find out that we're having a baby.
Buster dies.

2008
Liliana is born and our lives are forever changed for the better.
R.I.P. Hangover Hockey League.
Our place goes up for sale. We think it's going to sell quickly and we'll make a ton of money off of it. We couldn't be more wrong.
We take our place off the market and decide to live in the city a few more years.
To prove to ourselves that this is our plan, we sink our savings into a second car.
We find out that we're having another baby.
A crackhead jumps in the backseat of our car. Merry Christmas!

2009
We put our place back up for sale and enter extreme penny pinching mode. So much for our plan.
We move into my dad's basement.
Lily begins walking and talking.
Our house finally sells and we lose every penny we pinched just to sell it.
We buy a house.
Pending the inspections, the last two things may actually happen.